the 'unexpecting' world of parenthood

When I was pregnant, my husband and I borrowed and read many books, articles, blogs, etc. I signed up for thebump.com to network and read other new mom's experiences. We attended childbirth preparation classes, caring for newborns, and lactation classes. But, nothing can truly prepare you in becoming new parents.

Our baby was born 10-days late and he was a big baby at 8lbs and 10 oz. I tried to go for natural labor but after two hours in transition without any improvement with the dilation (I was stuck at 7), I had to ask for epidural because it became unbearable with every minute of strong contraction. I think the epidural may have slowed down the labor and it made me stay in bed instead of being able to walk around. My water did not break so they had to break it and my contractions were not strong enough to get the labor going so I was given Pitocin. I had an emergency C-section after 14 hours of labor and about half hour of pushing. The baby's heart started going up and his head started to swell so there is no option other than C-section. If I had to do it again, I would have asked for them to give me less of the epidural so I can still feel some pain. When I was pushing, everyone can already see his head crowning but I can not feel anything and that might be one of the reason why I wasn't able to do a better job pushing.

I also had complications during recovery, they can't get my heart rate down and my blood pressure up. I also lost blood from bleeding and it took them a while to get my uterus down to the right position, by the navel. We were stressed out the last day of stay at the hospital. They had me on iron drip on iv to bring my blood count up. They can't discharge me and I might have to get blood transfusion if my blood count continues to drop. Fortunately, it stabilized a bit the following morning so we were able to go home.

The first week was a big adjustment for my husband and I, even with my mom's help. The baby was awake every 2-3 hours to feed or get his diaper changed and stays up to play. With the pain from surgery, lack of sleep, frustration (when he's being fuzzy), being stuck at home, and just not being able to get things done - I can understand how some moms end up having baby blues or feeling depressed. I started feeling teary and cry for no reason. Thank God for a supportive, understanding husband, a dotting mom, and for having my family close by to help us with running errands. My advice for husbands is to not be as demanding and paranoid, offer as much help, and treat your wife kindly. Hire a help because you'll need one, unless you can handle just being next to the baby all the time and not getting as much sleep and things done. You can enjoy spending time with the baby more if you have some rest so ask and get help, when you can. For couples, snuggle when you can and be loving to each other. Make time to be together, even if you have to bring the baby in the dinner table with you. And celebrate special moments - anniversary, baby's first, etc with each other.

Newborns have a stomach the size of a pebble when they're born but if they want to feed, let them eat. Don't always stick with what the book says. When they cry, just go through the three things they need - milk, diaper change, or sleep. Of course it's different if they're sick. Our baby is actually a good baby. He easily falls asleep when I take him for a walk in a bjorn or when we take him for a car ride. After having a full meal and a good burp, he can sleep for up to 4 hours. But, it's better to wake them up to eat instead of waiting until they're too hungry so they'll be not as fuzzy. We still have to figure out how to relieve his snorting.

Preparing for the baby: Baby necessities

With all the enticing advertisements and baby products out there, it's easy to make the mistake of accumulating too much, and most often, unnecessary stuff even before the baby is born. It's good to make a list of products that might work or read consumer reviews so you'll know which to get when you need it. My husband and I also went to a 'prego palooza' to check out what's out there and get some free samples. It was fun and educational. We learned our options in using cloth diapers and the pricing and services available.

We were fortunate enough to find friends who are willing to hand us down and lend us baby clothes and gears that we'll need, which saved us hundreds of dollars and time in figuring out which will work. Bottom line is that your mommy friends have been through it all so listen to their recommendations and borrow what they tell you will work. Babies outgrow everything too soon and you don't want to keep on filling up space in your garage with more boxes.

Here are some of the things I recommend that you should try to borrow (or find used ones) the first few months:

• infant car seat and folding stroller
• Baby bjorn
  
• boppy nursing pillow (to save your tired arms from holding the baby)
• drying rack for bottles and bottle brush, ice packs
• baby tub
  
• rocking chair or glider
• free infant formula (sign up online and collect coupons)- we loved Similac advanced, which is a soy-based and closer to breast milk
• diaper bag (Kaiser gave us a really nice one with great design and organization)
• pack and play with changing area OR a crib that converts into a toddler bed
  
• baby mobile and a soothing white noise maker
  
• a baby swing (to put him to sleep)
  
• baskets and collapsible, organization boxes/crates for baby clothes and stuff - The Container Store has a lot of choices and very affordable. You might also try to find one for the car.
  
• Best book: Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice For Your Baby's First Year- check out the local library or Amazon.com
• Diaper Genie - I still have to figure out how to make my own bag or reuse plastic bags since the bags are pretty expensive (2 for ~$15). The best way to save money on disposal bags is to only put diapers with poop in the Diaper Genie. Pee only diapers can go in the regular waste basket since they don't stink.
• Nursing cover, baby blanket, and play quilt or blanket
• baby clothes, bibs, hats, shoes for different months (0-3, 3-6, 6-9, to 12 or 18 months). One reason why you need to keep things organized. Also, prepare for cold weather by stocking up on few thick, warm clothes/jumpers or covers.
  
• Breast pump, except for the accessories (for good hygiene) - membrane/bottle set-up
• baby monitor
  

We had three baby showers. One at home and two from work (at my work and my husbands). Instead of using baby registries, we asked for diapers and baby wipes instead. Other great baby shower gifts are:

• Desitin diaper rash ointment
• Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether
• convertible high chair: Fisher-Price EZ Bundle 4-in-1 Baby System
• Safety accessories for cabinets, stair gates, etc.

Double Dip Recession

Lately, I've been avoiding the papers because it's depressing to read. Everything is about the bad economy and how it can only get worse. There are gold jewelry thefts and baseball fans going crazy and picking fights at the stadium. I think that these are the signs of times. People are unhappy and crimes are on a rise. The 28% tuition hike the past few years are unbearable (and unaffordable) to most students. It's bad enough that education in California is in such a bad shape. Now, students who survived the rotten educational system can't even afford to go to college. All these make me feel that California may not be the place to live and send my kids to school in the future. I fear that it will only become more unsafe, more expensive, and more unreasonable to live here.

As much as I love the bay area and the fact that we're doing just fine, I just can't stand how bad things are sometimes that I can't help but start planning (and looking) to moving to another state. As a matter of fact, all I think about when it comes to my kid's future is boarding school and a university outside of California. I don't want to constantly worry about safety and standard of learning.

My Travel Map at TripAdvisor.com

1. Puerto Morelos, Mexico


2. Barcelona, Spain


3. Iguazu National Park, Argentina


4. Valladolid, Mexico


5. Zion National Park, UT, USA


6. Grand Canyon National Park, AZ, USA


7. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil


8. Amalfi, Italy


9. Positano, Italy


10. Paris, France


11. Rome, Italy


12. Vatican City, Italy


13. Malibu, CA, USA


14. Hilo, HI, USA


15. New York City, NY, USA

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Search for vacation rentals at TripAdvisor

baby bump

We were in Hawaii when I first had my morning sickness and symptoms that made me feel that I think I may be pregnant. I was always tired and dizzy. It was weird to go snorkeling when the fishes look so psychedelic! It was a trip. We waited until we get home before I got my test done and sure enough, we're pregnant! The first three months were rough - with morning sickness, fatigue, weight gain, food aversion, and nausea. Fortunately, most of it went away by the time I hit my 2nd trimester (14th week), which was a blessing because we have a trip planned for Costa Rica around that week.

I felt wonderful when we were traveling in Costa Rica. We went hiking to La Fortuna waterfalls, checked out warm springs, hanging bridges, Arenal Volcano, and of course, wildlife and birds! I love swimming in the warm water in the sandy beach of Manuel Antonio National Park. My favorite part of the trip is the one that includes zip-lining 9 cables, rappelling, and tarzan swing. It was a great, memorable trip! ... and we only spent ~$500 each for one week. We got our airfare free from AAdvantage points we saved up and since it's off season, we got away with good deals on lodging,local transportation, and some tours. Food was a little expensive but didn't burn too much hole in our pockets.

The past few months, we've been busy attending weddings, birthdays, get-togethers, and working on our yard. It's great and make time flies. I'm doing my best to not feel bored. That's when I start feeling all the pain and weird stuff from the changes that my body's going through. I'm now on my 20th week and we just found out that we're having a boy! We're so happy and always praying for a safe, healthy baby and delivery. I hear many stories from friends and co-workers and I hope that I'll have an easier time with no complication. I have 3 different due dates - Nov 16, 18, or 23rd. I hope it'll be before Thanksgiving. I really want to spend Thanksgiving at home with family and friends.

Most of the time, I find myself counting days. I've already made a list of other things that can keep me preoccupied: gardening, working on my photobook projects & travel blogs, house work, cooking, and of course - exercise. I have a house blessing to take care of this month of July, on top of the Saturday birthdays that we have to go to. Summer is here and although there are a lot of things I can't do, I'm sure I can always go swimming or hang out at the beach or bbq with friends.

home sweet home...

After three months of working with couple of lenders (LendingTree.com & Fremont Bank), we finally got our loan for a house in Pacheco that we made an offer to last November. Since we're trying to start a family, we figured it might be worth it to live closer to my folks despite of the longer work commute (and rising cost of gas). Also, it was a great investment with a low $/sqft and the house is very lovely and spacious. The previous owners really took pride of their ownership. Even the home inspector can't help but admire the additions and works they have done to the house. The garage is basically the only project that we've had to take care of at this point.

Getting the loan was an exhausting process. I had a hard time qualifying with my brother because I already own a house and my income is not high enough to cover two mortgages. Since I just recently started renting out my place in Hilltop, I don't have the income stated on my tax forms yet. It was hard to show to them that the rents pretty much covered the mortgage and expenses at that house. Fortunately, my uncle, who is also my real estate broker, helped me negotiate the terms of the loan and process the paperwork. I had to put down a huge down payment but at the end, I'm happy with our low, fixed rate (4.75% for 30 yrs) and from the commission I received from the sale. I love my uncle. He has always been there for me - as a mentor, a friend, and the sweetest and funniest uncle one can ever have. He has such an adorable family, too.

We've started packing and moving our things. Fortunately, after consolidating our stuff, we have enough furniture that we just have to find couple of used ones from Craiglist to furnish the rest of the house.

Soaking up the Sun

The past couple of months, I've made couple of trips south. My co-worker, Abigail, and I went to Palm Springs for a long weekend and hiked Joshua Tree National Park. It's such a great place to take a break from the cold winter months. It was warm and sunny and lots of outdoor activities. Then, few weeks ago, my husband and I celebrated his brother's birthday at San Luis Obispo. Had an amazing visit at Hearst Castle, although we got hailed at the Elephant Seal colony nearby. The rest of the weekend was sunny so we were able to enjoy Pismo & Grover Beach and a hike up Bishop Peak. I had the most fun at the Oceano Dunes. It was my first time to go sledding down endless sand dunes. I love it and can't wait to do it again.

Lately, I've been getting addicted to Groupons and TravelZoo deals. I just paid $15 each for two surf & wetsuit rental deal from Pacifica. I also bought a paintball ticket for $15 for 3 hours. And got tempted to buy into couple more offers. OMG, I need to restrain myself and not get too excited from seeing all this half off offers. It's just too convenient to purchase stuff when they have your credit card on file when you log in! AaargH!

We found a $79 Travelzoo Teatro Zinzanni deal and our friend Katherine and her husband, Ron, treated us for a dinner and a show at Zinzanni in San Francisco for our wedding gift. It was a lot of fun! I was so surprised to see one of my favorite youtube act come to life as we watch this couple do a pole dancing tango. The rest of the show was fun-tastic!