Saturday, November 23, 2013

bucket list

  1. visit the modern 7 world wonders (3 more to go: Petra, Taj Mahal, and Great Wall of China)
  2. do a missionary work on a third world country (health clinic, emergency respond team, sanitation)
  3. train and complete my first triathlon
  4. adopt a child
  5. write a children's book
  6. learn to be a really good singer
  7. audition for a tv competition (American Idol or American Ninja :P )
  8. have a great viewing of Aurora borealis (Alaska or Iceland)
  9. hike Mt. Everest
  10. space travel (hope it'll be much less than $250k in the future)
  11. present a talk on TED on anthropological ideas to improve problems in our society

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Our Baby Girl's Journey

It has been an interesting, challenging, and miraculous experience with our new baby Audrey Luisa and it was all worth it. During the first trimester, my husband and I were pretty stressed out after our initial 1st and 2nd screening turned out positive for down syndrome. It was after four months that we got a confirmatory results from non-invasive testing that it's negative for down syndrome. That was a huge relief from all the unnecessary anxiety. During those months, our son, Raphael, had fever, cold, and couple of emergency trips to the hospital (one from eating wild mushrooms in our yard and the other from a bad asthma attack). Between the first trimester morning sickness, taking care of a sick child, work commute, and work itself - I was exhausted and it only takes a few weeks until I got sick myself for almost three weeks. I had to take antibiotics, which got me worried with the baby. And then, each time I have a bad cough, I pretty much pee on my pants from having the baby push down on my bladder. Poor baby had to suffer through it, too.

On the second trimester, Raphael was still getting a fever for few days at least every other month.  Fortunately, the morning sickness went away and things got a little better.  My due date was my birthday - August  26th. I had a mixed feeling about it - happy that I'll always have our child to celebrate my birthday with in the future and 'not so thrilled' with not having my own 'special day'. I was already seeing lots of pinks and kids parties on my future birthdays.

The last couple of months were worrisome on the baby's test results. Two months before the baby is due, my OB found out that I have polyhydramnios - too much water in the amniotic sac (around the baby). So, they tested me for diabetes, which turned out negative, and put me in 30-45 minutes non-stress testing (NST) to monitor baby's heart rate and volume of liquid, twice a week! Trip to the hospital twice a week on your third trimester is very inconvenient, especially if you have to get back to work ASAP.  The last scare we had was during my 9-month ultrasound, where the screening shows that there may be problem with the size of the two of the four heart chambers and that there may be a narrowing in the baby's aorta. This is usually seen in down sydrome. If it's a real case, then the baby would have to have a heart surgery after delivery. Once again, we had a whole week of restless days and nights - worrying, praying, and just plain scared. Fortunately, the fetal echocardiogram showed that the baby is normal and the pediatric cardiologist didn't find anything wrong with the baby's heart. Thank you, Lord!

I guess, it's all this stress and anxiety that got me to labor early. I filed for maternity leave one week before the baby is due to get some down time to prepare and get things in order. But, our little girl is just ready to be with us and stop all these worries.  Tuesday, on my last week of work, the midwife told me that I'm 4cm and 80% effaced. She advised me that I shouldn't go back to work. I had an extended monitoring due to some heart rate drops on my NST. The doctor even recommend that I should get induced! Unfortunately, Raphael had another fever the day before and I really want to get home first and take care of things before getting admitted. I was glad I have a doula to talk to and put my mind in perspective. We're going to try natural birth and being induced will only put me in the likelihood of a C-section. I had a C-section before and there is a very small percent chance that the previous surgery might tear. It's a risk that I've decided to take.

 After couple of hours of monitoring and seeing the baby's heart rate stabilize, they finally let me go home. I had a good 3-4 hours at home before I actually got in active labor and checked in that afternoon. Meanwhile, I was able to take care of all the last minute paper work, phone calls (at work), our hospital bag, giving instructions to my mom on Raphael, and getting a little bit of rest.

Polyhydramnios worked on my advantage that I wasn't feeling the contractions as bad or as intense as they were. I was smooth sailing even when I was already 8 cm. It was after they rupture my water that the real pain sets in and I was delirious! It really helped to have a doula around to coach me through and offer different ways to manage the pain. I got into pushing for almost an hour but with no sign of crowning and having a "lip" blocking the baby's head, I decided to ask for some epidural. It turned out to be a wise decision. The baby was unknowingly on Right Occiput Transverse (ROT) position and I had another three hours of pushing before the doctor decided to do a vacuum-assisted delivery. The vacuum popped out of place the first try and my husband almost lost hope since the doctor would only give it three tries. It was the most painful ordeal I've ever been. I felt like it was the end of me and that I was being tear to pieces. I wish I had more epidural in my system! But, I was overjoyed to have our baby girl brought into my arms and hear her cry. It was a very monumental experience and there's this feeling of triumph that makes me feel like, "if I was able to get through this, I can get through anything".  Everyone was pretty amazed that I was able to pull through this whole journey and I find it unbelievable as well that it's more like a miracle.

Audrey Luisa was born at 38 weeks but at 8 lbs and 6 oz, I'm thankful she arrived early! She's such a sweet baby.  She sleeps a lot and got into breastfeeding easily. The past two weeks had been pretty easy taking care of her.  I'm also amazed with how his 21-month old brother, Raphael, is handling the bonding and adjusting period with the new baby in the house. He has been real great. Kinda shy at first but now, he's always asking about the baby and gets worried when he hears her cry. I'm surprisingly and happily thankful on how great things turn out to be. I've expected so much worse but things are close to perfect right now and I hope they stay this great for a while.

Friday, February 8, 2013

raising a good, happy child

Now that I'm 3-month pregnant with our 2nd child, I have very little energy left after a long day of work and commute to spend with our 14-month old boy, especially when he's tired, needy, and fuzzy. I usually let him run around the garden and watch cars and the kids riding their bikes. Some days, I even bring him to the park and at the bookstore. But, winter makes it extra challenging to find activities. So, to keep him calm and deal with his boredom, we recruit youtube nursery rhyme videos and songs - hoping that it's a good thing for him. Besides, there seems to be no TV policy in the daycare so this shouldn't hurt.

But I do realize how we can easily fall in the 'working too much' pit and start spending less quality time with the kids. There is not a day that I don't ponder on what can we do as parents to make sure that our kids would have good moral values, strong character, great personality, healthy, and happy. I've heard many stories of good parents who've had problems with their kids just because they end up hanging out with the wrong group of friends or boyfriend/girlfriend or just bad luck. And it doesn't help that we're living in a non-communal society and with very little network of relatives to seek help from.

Today, I talked to an accomplished, well-respected PhD at work and was surprised to find out that he came from such a dysfunctional family. My first question was - how did you manage to set yourself apart and become successful? He's main answer was - I spent a lot of time away from them and with other people I look up to. Looking back into my own experience, I felt like that's one thing I can totally understand. I compensate for what I can't find in my own family by hanging out at friends' house and having dinner with them and going on trips with them. As I matter of fact, it's probably one of the main things that I looked for in my previous relationships. And I was glad I did. I wish I can thank them for it.

I do hope that we'll be able to provide our kids a happy, loving home that they can be proud of.  But, even then - I would probably still encourage them to be more well-rounded and be out there to meet people from different walks of life and to surround themselves with positive influences. It's probably good for them to see both the dark and bright side of life to make a choice on how they want to shape their own. I just hope that they will be open for guidance. And that they would always have the drive to continue growing to be a better person and have the heart of a philanthropist.