Year 2010

I can't believe it's almost 2011. I don't want 2010 to be over just yet but there's just no slowing down time. Lots of things happened since my last status update:

• Alejandro's grandma, Lola Flora passed away in August :( I realized what a wonderful person she is and how she touched a lot of peoples' lives in her own humble way and cheerful, optimistic personality. It's very inspiring to know her from people's stories.
• I had a great time at Academy of Science's Thursday nightlife on my birthday. Friends came to celebrate with us and it was really fun! Alejandro got us an indonesian cooking class at Kitchenonfire.com in Berkeley. I love the techniques they showed us on getting the most flavor from herbs and spices.
• Celebrated my Lola Tindeng's (my dad's mom) 90th birthday in Las Vegas on the July 4th weekend. We decided to go to Utah's Zion National Park and Arizona's Antelope Canyon the same week. It was an unforgettable, fun-filled adventure!
• In October, we had our most-awaited trip to east coast and South America. We were in New York, Boston, and Massachusetts for one week - visiting friends and checking out local happenings. Finally get to visit Harvard and hang out at Widener library. In South America, we spent another week in Cusco and Machu Picchu in Peru. Cusco will forever be in my heart ~ warm people, quaint, colorful town, and cute alpacas! Then, we spent our 3rd week in Brazil at Rio de janeiro and flew to see Iguacu Falls. We had quite an adventure crossing the border to see the Iguacu Falls side of Argentina, which I find more interesting and have more to offer. It was unbelievable!
• For halloween, I took Alejandro to Great America's crazy halloween mazes. They outdid themselves with the decorations and shows and all the costumes. We rode the super fun roller coasters and drop zone! Terrific rides!
• Saw Aida playing on the simulcast at ATT Ball Park in SF. Great view, lots of fun!
• Was reminded of what life should be about by Dr. Bob Moorehead's "Paradox of our Time".
• first wedding shower I've ever attended at work turned out to be my own wedding shower! My co-workers made origami cranes for our wedding and put together a wonderful wedding shower in our office area. They're so glad to finally meet my fiance, Alejandro.
• I had a small bachelorette party at Castro's the Cafe and we had a lot of fun :) I was initially planning a pole-dancing class or a trapeze class but everyone was busy with the Thanksgiving weekend.
• After months of planning (and budgeting), we finally had a beautiful and memorable wedding day in December. It was unforgetable and fun! I feel like I spent more time bonding with family and friends during the set-up and preparations. It definitely gave my sister and I a chance to spend more time with each other. To me, it was a perfect wedding with all the dreams and visions I have coming true. The best part is having so many people lend us a hand in making it all happen. Most of the stuff we had were borrowed, used, and consumed so we feel good that very few waste went to the landfill at the end of the day. It's a good karma. I was so touched with how great things turn out that I wanted to start a class in DIY (Do-It-Yourself): wedding on a budget.
• Lola Tindeng passed away in the Philippines on the hour of our wedding. I overheard my dad screaming on the phone right when we're in front of the church but I didn't find out until after our reception as we gather at my Uncle Virgil's house to offer some prayers. Many people comfort us by saying, "she was there with us in spirit". May she rest in peace.
• We signed up with ourwishingwell.com for our wedding in place of a registry. Unfortunately, they charge both our guests and ourselves when it's time to put in and withdraw cash gifts. So, we strongly recommend finding other sites or other ways to receive cash gifts toward your honeymoon or other wishes, like gifts of photography, etc. We like the idea of gift cards to support local stores and/or your favorite shops, as well as donating to charities.
• We were in LA for Christmas, my first Christmas away from my family. But, I had a lot of fun - playing charades, guessing games, 'bop-it', and SET with Alejandro's family. We also went to see the Wayfarer's Swedenborg Church in Palos Verdes and did some whale watching at the Interpretive Center close to it.
  

A Wedding to Remember

Wedding planning and preparation became a very memorable experience for my hubby and I mostly because it was a DIY (Do It Yourself) with help from family and friends. Initally, we were planning to have it at Mira Vista Golf Club up in El Cerrito hills. It has a beautiful deck with a panoramic view of the city and eastbay. When it's foggy, it feels like you're up in the clouds and the trees and landscape is just very dramatic. They quoted us close to $10,000 for about 80 guests, which was okay. However, after the food tasting, we didn't really think that the $45/guest was worth it. We decided that if we're gonna spend that much, we might as well plan a wedding that we really wanted, which includes a church wedding and a nice venue for the reception. The church required at least 6 month notice and to attend seminars and such. It took us a while to find Albany Memorial Building for our venue (~$1200). I fell in love with the ornate wooden beams that are colorfully painted and decorated with big, old lanterns. We originally have our hearts set on a Mission theme and the church and venue pretty much fit what we're looking for as far as ambiance and warmth.

One of my bridesmaid's brother-in-law sings for a church choir and his voice will bring tears in your eyes. He sang some tagalog songs for our wedding and everyone finds him amazing. Instead of having our party catered, we decided to order and pick up food from couple of Filipino restaurants and an Indian restaurant and ordered the food we love. We served empanada and turon for hors d'oeuvres and for the main dishes, we have pakora, chicken tikka masala, naan, rice, sisig, and filipino bbq. The Filipino food was a hit and we didn't ordered much but we had a lot of left overs! We hired two servers who also picked up the food and helped with cleaning.
We spent 3-4 hours the day before setting up the venue with unique table arrangements, colorful table covers, various centerpieces (colorful potted plants, origami cranes, candles, petals), colorful chinese and star lanterns on the stage, and with our guestlist/wish bowl with colorful scrapbook cards for the guests to write their messages. I framed the card that we received from the Pres. Obama and first lady Michelle Obama, when we send them our wedding invitation, next to our wish bowl. It was funtastic! Everyone helped put things together - from picking up rental supplies to setting up all the decorations and final touch-ups. We were so tired after the preparation but I still managed to get my mani-pedi before the wedding rehearsal and dinner that night.

It was slightly rainy the morning of our wedding. My ex-roommate made my bouquet and bridesmaids' bouquets and I was so glad she was there to help put people in their places and help me with last minute stuff. My bridesmaids were wearing different color dresses (yellow, orange, red, purple) and my orange bridesmaid was running late. Fortunately, they my hubby's cousin, who happens to be wearing an orange dress, and had her march with the rest of the entourage. It always crack me up to see the picture and realize that by the time I marched to the alter, my orange bridesmaid already sneaked in to her post. How funny!

There are a lot of memorable things in our wedding, including our slideshow, our money dance, our first dance (which I choreographed - thanks to YouTube), our multi-flavored Kara's cupcakes tree that everyone adores, and our spontaneous last dance (to the song "At Last") where everyone coached us to dance in the stage. I actually bought a $10 "The Promise" figurine for our cake topper because it's very decorative and something we can always put in our home and remind us of our wonderful wedding. At the end, our photographer (who charged us $600 for 2 discs of photos, including retouched and engagement pictures), took more pictures of us at the playground and back alley, which turned out real well!

Overall, there are so many things I really enjoyed with this experience - all the bridal shows, freebies, and delicious food on sip-and-scan events at bridal registry parties (Macy's, Crate and Barrel, Bloomingdales) we attended, my last minute bachelorette party at the Cafe in Castro, SF, shopping for dresses and customizing a $400 trumpet/mermaid dress I got at David's and Bridal, and putting together all my creative ideas to design my own wedding. I'm very grateful to my very supportive (and understanding hubby) and to all our family and friends who helped materialize my plans and design. I'm also glad that I found wix.com (to put together our wedding page) and weddingwire.com (which has amazing tools and the seat planner was unbelievably super handy!). Other resources we used are: evite.com,Weddingchannel.com, Avon Brides, Michael's, Real Simple.com, Martha Steward, Herecomestheguide.com, local cupcake bakery, Rock-climber cake topper, VistaPrint.com (for save the date postcards and final inviations), Michael's and Joan's for ideas on favors (luggage tags, ornaments, herbal potted plant, bottle stoppers, lanterns).

awareness

It's unbelievable how much difference awareness and acceptance can do for a person to finally commit to change. While knowledge is purely knowing, wisdom is to truly understand and to actually be able to "walk the talk". Now I truly understand how knowing the truth can set you free and how having an open mind can help one start the process of healing and change.

There are people who were born and endured a diffucult life, surrounded by negativity and bad experiences. It's just bad luck. And only few are able to survive all these challenges or at least find a way out of it. But how do you undo what took years of shaping? How do you help someone who's messed up when they don't know or accept that something is wrong with them? It's not entirely their fault that they turn out as such. It may be their parents or lack of education or poor role models.

It's hard to help these people and it's sad that most of them are actually blaming the wrong people and things in their life as they constantly search for a reason why they feel and behave certain ways. This is where I honestly believe on how programs and support groups can really help these people seek the answer they need and start renewing their life. Some find religion as their redemption. Some may find it in simply understanding who they are, their weaknesses, and what it is that's causing their problems in relationships and with their behavior.

Everyday Injustice

Last Monday, on my way to work, I had a bad car collission with an uninsured driver. I was on the main street toward the freeway ramp when she came out of a side street, without stopping on a stop sign, to make an illegal left turn. I saw her rolling down a small hill one block away from the street she's on and made an eye contact with her later on. Then, about one car away from her street, she decided to step on her gas and cross my path. I slammed hard on my brake but it was too late. My airbag deployed and the smoke inside the car was suffocating. I rolled down my window and tried to get a good look on her license plate as she took off. I had to push hard on the driver side door to get out because it was jammed. I drove my car a little bit towards the center of the road so as not to block the incoming traffic. I was driving a 2000 Nissan Frontier truck and she has a gray SUV-type vehicle. My car was in really bad shape. I hit her in the middle of her SUV to the rear-tire. I'm surprised she was able to continue driving.

By the time I crossed the street to the sidewalk, there's a lady (Paulette) parked on the side of the street who gave me her phone number to be one of the witnesses and a guy (Damon) who's on the phone with the police station, reporting the hit and run driver. He was also able to get the license plate number of the driver. A few moments later, another lady approached me and said that she witnessed the whole thing, too. She was on her way to drop off a friend at work. She dropped her off then came back. Then, another guy came back after following her to note the direction she's going in and license plate number with the cops. I was really amazed on how many witnesses came forward to give their information. I was still in the state of shock but it was comforting to know that somehow, I was not alone. I realized how important it is to be a witness and that it really makes a lot of difference to the victim.

Two cops were there - one to investigate the accident, the other to note the crime (hit and run). About half hour later, the crime policeman got another call and it was for another hit and run by an SUV that matches the description and the license plate number of the hit and run driver. I was alarmed that there's a driver out there who's hitting so many cars and continue to be at loose. After the firemen checked on me and getting my car towed, one of the cops drove me home and later showed up in our apartment with a set of pictures. He had me try to ID the driver. But, since she was wearing sunglasses and it's hard to really distinguish all her facial feature, I wasn't able to pinpoint the driver but instead just stick with the description I remembered - dark, long hair and caucasian or hispanic ethnicity.

My boyfriend had a similar accident few years ago. Since it's an uninsured driver, he tried to sue her but she declared bankruptcy and was able to walk away from all her responsibilities. Fortunately, my insurance will cover up to $3500 + costs of towing (after we pay the $500 deductible). As much as I wanted to try to sue this driver, I'm a little hesitant in that I might end up spending more time and money and not get anything at the end. I'm thinking of getting hold of the other victim and team up with her in collecting from the driver.

These days, I'm slowly realizing that you can never get justice if you get into an accident with an irresponsible, uninsured driver. These drivers are REAL criminals and they can get away with it by filing bankruptcy! Meanwhile, you have to pay for more costs (no matter how good a driver you are) - fee to get a police report, your insurance's deductible, your lost time from work, and in the case of a body injury - your medical expenses and consequence of it all. It feels like the court and the cops only provide information and push papers instead of actually finding justice for the victim(s). This reminds me so much of some of the stories I read from my Anthropology class before. In other societies, there's just a mediator and they ask the person responsible for the damage to work and rebuild what they broke and pay with harvest (vegetables, crops) what they can't pay with labor. Now, wouldn't that be a much fair solution?

Now, we're just talking about car accidents. How about victims of scams, poor product and service, and other crimes. Honestly, I'm so fed up with what they call "customer service" with cell phone and digital cable and other service providers. I highly recommend reading some of Laura Nader's work in Anthropology: Harmony, Ideology—Injustice and Control in a Mountain Zapotec Village (1990), The Life of the Law: Anthropological Projects (2002) , and (with Ugo Mattei) Plunder - When the Rule of Law is Illegal (2008). They narrate shocking truths that we're all aware of but no one really did anything to get the due justice. Everyday, as we let our rotten system just "do their job", we continue to play blind and go along with it and be an everyday victim of the ruthless society. We need change and it's as simple as stopping this "faceless" resolutions and start confronting criminals (or corporations) face-to-face and determine the proper means of getting the justice we deserve.

finding a mellow life

Since the beginning of this year, I've been trying to slow down and restructure my habits. It's not until my last trip to Florida that I realized how I should work on dealing with stress and anxiety. Lately, I noticed that too much expectations from the trip and lack of time to relax made me enjoy the trip less. We were so preoccupied with budgeting and trying to get as much done during the trip that we didn't really get into the vacation mode. So, next time, I should indulge myself a little more on down-time and just chillax* I decided to try to get back to basics , stop multi-tasking, and focus on simplicity, curiousity, and open mind so that I'll be less anxious and frustrated. One of my goals is to really get into meditation. It has a lot of good health benefits. Also, I was told to pursue what fascinates me - perhaps a hobby or an ambition, and to follow that passion. It's rare to find.

I shared these with couple of people I know who are having problems with their relationships. I figured, maybe they should focus on something else in their life - like their health or a new hobby. One thing that's common to the two of them is that they're bored and desperate to feel loved. What they're doing is wrong but they can't stop it because of the thrill and the temporary sense of happiness and it's almost like an addiction to something that's bad for you. They're craving for it and they're so vulnerable that they can't stop. So, I advised both of them the same thing - to do what is right (for the sake of karma or that it's a sin). Chance that they'll listen is slim but I pray that they'll stop before it's too late.

Albany, CA

I'm all moved in to a new apartment in Albany, CA (along the shop-lined street of Solano) and I started biking to work last week. Thursday, May 13th, was bike-to-work day. It's nice to start your day with a beautiful bike ride along the coast through the bay trail with a great view of the city, wildlife, wetlands, and the quiet morning breeze. I also pass Point Isabel's dog park along the way and I'm such a dog-lover! I can't help but smile when I see one.
It's nice to be in a walking neighborhood where I can pretty much walk to anywhere - the cafes, the theater, shops, restaurants, banks, post office, wine store, galleries, etc. It's such a sweet location. But, there's no internet at the house right now so I have to go to a cafe each time to log-in. It's kinda hard. I'm getting sick of ordering coffee and tea just to be able to get a code to connect to the network. I also realized how the internet is such a huge part of my life.
I'm constantly checking the stock market, finding tenants and taking care of financial stuff for my house, craigslisting items we need, listening to music, watching movies, reading the news, checking emails, updating personal and travel blogs, finding new job opportunities... and the list goes on. I feel so paralyzed without it and I'm just bored out of my mind sitting at home unable to do anything. I think I spend enough time with friends and families and activities and my mind just have a list of gazillion of things to do and most of them can only be accomplished online. It's kinda sad but I guess that's just how it works. The only time I can be (almost) tech-free is when I'm on vacation or traveling.
Since I have to move out of my house, I have to rent out all the rooms and I have to do a weekly maintenance / clean-up and deal with any problems they have (and going to have) at the house. It's more work and I'm just scared that I might get really burned out after a while. I can't wait until I can sell (or pay off) the house.
One of the major problem we have is our internet and TV service. ATT dsl cable is just so slow and has been causing a lot of problems. So, I started eyeing offers with Comcast and guess what, they have couple of things in common - they're both ridiculously expensive and their customer service is just horrible! I called Comcast to get more info. on the packages they have advertised online and instead of answering my questions, they wanted me to get help through the online live CHAT on their website. Unbelievable! So, I had to call my friends and ask them instead on whether or not I need to pay the $8/box/tv for the TV cable (answer is yes) and if they'll provide a modem/router for the dsl cable (answer is no). This made me wonder what the heck is going on with consumer products and services. How can they get away with ripping us off and charging more fees for each tiny option they can offer? Next thing you know, they'll be charging us for the air we breathe (I'm pretty sure we're already getting charged for air space).

Let's catch up!

Wow, it's been a year since my last posting. Time flies! I thought 2009 is not a good year for me so I was really looking forward to 2010 Year of the Tiger for a change. The past year and early months of 2010 have been interesting.

• I started the new year with a trip to Mazatlan, Mexico (January 2010) with some friends from work - Abigail, Laura, Jon, and Francine. It was a fun and relaxing vacation!
• I have to thank Facebook for reconnecting me with old friends, classmates, schoolmates from the Philippines and wherever they are now in the world. I am so looking forward to visiting them in the future. Besides, I've always wanted to visit Dubai, Japan, and stay longer in Italy.
• My beloved grandma Charing passed away in July 2009 so I had to head back to the Philippines. The four days of wake was tiring but it was the only time since I was a child that I get to meet all our relatives, catch up with old friends, and spend time with family. I learned a lot about myself, my mom and her family, and how different Laguna will be without my lola. There was a big flood throughout the Philippines few months later. The cemetery was covered with water and all I can think about is my grandma. May she be happy in heaven or wherever she is. I hope she knows how much we deeply love her.
• Got promoted to Public Health Microbiologist II in July also. Unfortunately, they started the 3rd Furlough Friday so I lost most of the 5% increase that I was going to get for the promotion to that furlough.
• I turned 30, August 2009. My roommates took me to Belden Place in SF for a wonderful dinner. My boyfriend took me skydiving in Lodi. For his October birthday, I got us a month of fencing class and took him to ride the mechanical bull at Saddle Rack in Fremont.
• Hiked Yosemite's Half Dome to raise funds with a trek group. Unfortunately, a guy committed suicide on top of half dome that day so they closed the cables and we weren't able to finish the last 400 ft. It was a great weekend. It's so nice to be with a group of strong-minded, fun, active women.
• We had the best Halloween costume ever! I dressed up as Bay Bridge and Alejandro was a hippie Caltrans worker. It was a last minute idea after they closed the bay bridge for one week or so due to a broken cable that hits couple of cars and raised safety issues with the S-curve.
• I got engaged October 2009 and we started planning our wedding for May 2010. The wedding preparation experience has been really fun and stressful at the same time. So, earlier this month, we've decided to postpone the wedding later this year. Going to bridal expos, shows, registry parties, and getting lots of freebies and trying out food and deserts, as well as visiting chapels, churches, parks, venues, and all the lovely places have been my favorite part of the planning. However, it gave us too many options that it gets harder to decide or settle with a decision that'll make everyone happy.
• On top of that, we've been house-hunting. The fact that each of us owns a house made it a little more complicated. We're more conservative and indecisive with finding a home that will be a great investment as well.
• We've also took a few premarital courses and counseling to help us deal with some problems and differences we have as a couple. It helped a lot to voice out how we really feel inside, communicate what we want, and settle some fears and doubts.
• For Thanksgiving, we stayed with Gabriel's family in San Diego, checked out the San Diego Zoo and Wildlife Theme Park, old town San Diego and spent a day in the beautiful Balboa Park. We also had a chance to visit La Jolla beach and Mission Bay. Then, spent Thanksgiving watching Pacquiao VS Cotto at Alejandro's uncle's house in Pasadena. On our drive up, we stopped by Solvang and San Luis Obispo. The Bubblegum Alley is just unbelievable!
• Adopted a guinea pig (Barry) and named him Shrek. He's my 3rd guinea pig and he is so smart. However, because of my busy schedule, I decided to have him be a school pet so he can spend time playing with children and be in school :)
• To take a break from all the planning and work, we took a 5-day vacation to St. Petersburg, Florida. It was going to be a camping trip with lots of beach and art galleries and sun. However, we were only able to camp one night because the Easter season packed the most popular camp sites (Koresh & Fort de Soto). We end up checking in to some hotel and motel, instead to save money. It was a great trip, though. We get to swim with the manatees by Crystal River and I really love the town of St. Petersburg (with the Church that floats in the ocean) and the old-town (New Orleans-style) of Ybor Centro in Tampa. The Sunrise Easter service by the beach was fantastic!
• The more I think about my engagement, the more I get reminded of the Wishing Chair that I sat in Smith Tower during my Thanksgiving visit in Seattle. They said that any unmarried woman who sit in that chair will be married in one year. I got engaged in less than one year after sitting in that chair. I googled up that chair but didn't get much info.
• I started playing more Mahjong with a Meetup group and Pandemic boardgame with friends from work. Also, I finally had a chance to play badminton at GGBC in Emeryville.
• We had Christmas caroling with "Hatid Biyaya" foundation to help flood victims in the Philippines.
• Saw "Wicked" and "Fiddlers in the Roof". I can totally relate to Elphaba!
• For Valentine's Day 2010, we decided to stay at the International Hostel at Fort Mason and enjoy a weekend in San Francisco. Watched Winter Olympics at their cafeteria.
• I have so many friends having babies this year. Baby shower is just so much fun with lots of games and good food.
• House-sit Jeremy & Ariel's house in Claremont. I love their black labrador, Mischa!
• It was my first time to see myself in a perfect hourglass figure with a corset I tried in Dark Gardens, SF.
• Picked up my grandma from LA in March. That was the first time I've ever been in a long drive with her. Down south, we really liked Hermosa Beach and the A capella semi-finals.
• First time to drive a 28-ft Uhaul truck to help friends move.
• Found Emeryville's NHI massage school as the cheapest place to get an amazing massage!
• Finally met some Kiva microfinance lenders through a social night with the fellows in SF.
• Marlone's wedding in Alameda became a small Tablante reunion. It was nice to see and catch up with relatives.
• Picnic Day at UC Davis followed by a trip to Cache Creek Casino and Resort.
• These days, I'm trying to get back to studying for my GRE and cooking my favorite Thai (pad thai, spicy seafood coconut/lemongrass soup), Indian (samosas, tandoori chicken/tikka masala, & curried vegetables), and Mexican food (chicken poblano with chocolate mole).