Friday, February 8, 2013

raising a good, happy child

Now that I'm 3-month pregnant with our 2nd child, I have very little energy left after a long day of work and commute to spend with our 14-month old boy, especially when he's tired, needy, and fuzzy. I usually let him run around the garden and watch cars and the kids riding their bikes. Some days, I even bring him to the park and at the bookstore. But, winter makes it extra challenging to find activities. So, to keep him calm and deal with his boredom, we recruit youtube nursery rhyme videos and songs - hoping that it's a good thing for him. Besides, there seems to be no TV policy in the daycare so this shouldn't hurt.

But I do realize how we can easily fall in the 'working too much' pit and start spending less quality time with the kids. There is not a day that I don't ponder on what can we do as parents to make sure that our kids would have good moral values, strong character, great personality, healthy, and happy. I've heard many stories of good parents who've had problems with their kids just because they end up hanging out with the wrong group of friends or boyfriend/girlfriend or just bad luck. And it doesn't help that we're living in a non-communal society and with very little network of relatives to seek help from.

Today, I talked to an accomplished, well-respected PhD at work and was surprised to find out that he came from such a dysfunctional family. My first question was - how did you manage to set yourself apart and become successful? He's main answer was - I spent a lot of time away from them and with other people I look up to. Looking back into my own experience, I felt like that's one thing I can totally understand. I compensate for what I can't find in my own family by hanging out at friends' house and having dinner with them and going on trips with them. As I matter of fact, it's probably one of the main things that I looked for in my previous relationships. And I was glad I did. I wish I can thank them for it.

I do hope that we'll be able to provide our kids a happy, loving home that they can be proud of.  But, even then - I would probably still encourage them to be more well-rounded and be out there to meet people from different walks of life and to surround themselves with positive influences. It's probably good for them to see both the dark and bright side of life to make a choice on how they want to shape their own. I just hope that they will be open for guidance. And that they would always have the drive to continue growing to be a better person and have the heart of a philanthropist.

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